2005 LFFL Week 7 Power Poll

This 2005 Week 7 Power Poll was written special to the LFFL Web Log by Prospect Pioneers owner Dan Coulter.

#1: Latrobe Brewers (5-1)

Latrobe is the crème de la crème this year, the team to beat for anyone contemplating a championship. Owner Lisa Andrews has managed to put together one of the deepest, most talented backfields that the LFFL has ever seen. The combination of Stephen Davis’ resurgence in Carolina, Thomas Jones’ motivation to hold off Cedric Benson, and LT’s flat-out domination of anything ever created by God, man, or animal has given Latrobe a solid base on which to win any game. Of course, just like an old woman waiting for the nuclear end of the world, Latrobe is storing some preserves in the root cellar, retaining the services of Ahman Green and Über-backup Larry Johnson just in case. Let’s not forget to mention TO and Keenan Ivory Waynes (woops! I mean McCardell) who have both been solid, but not amazing, producers for the Brewers this year at WR. This team’s one downside is the average play of its Quarterback (Collins has been solid, but he’s not producing big numbers) and 3rd Wide Receivers (Porter and Lelie have been far from consistent, and Brandon “Slot Machine” Stokely has seen his looks drop due to the Colts’ ridiculous 9.5 Pts/G defense). That being said, the Power Poll would like to wish a heartfelt “good luck” to any team with a match-up against Latrobe this season, you’ll need it.

#2: Allentown Iron Men (5-1)

This spot had to go to the team with the 2nd best Running Back in the NFL, Shaun Alexander. Competing with LT for “ARRGHGHGG! GET OFF ME!” award, SnAx has piled up a ridiculous 12 rushing TD’s so far this season, including two 4 TD performances. The real power of the Iron Men comes from the balance and tenacity that owner Todd Leight has instilled in his team; he can be heard yelling from his computer chair every Sunday, “One game at a time guys, one game at a time!” A recent blockbuster trade with Prospect depleted the depth of the Iron Men’s backfield, but sent super-stud Wide Receiver Steve Smith to the already talented Allentown WR core, consisting of Chad Johnson, Rod Smith, and TJ Houshmandsnadkcvzhdsbvhe. (On a side note, by trading away Jimmy Smith the Iron Men missed out on the chance to start three WRs named Smith) Combine this talent with Tom Brady’s defenseless Pats and Carnell “Thanks for washing my car rook” Williams and you have a lot of points on the board from every position. Only the Brewers will make a stand and keep these 15,000 lbs of Alcoa steel from setting Ms. Andrews’ Country Music Award on fire.

#3: Chewton Champs (5-1)

Chewton is like the Little Engine that Could; they just keep chugging along week after week, not putting up flashy numbers or highlight reel performances, just churning out win after win after win after win after win (that’s 5 right?). Every player on this team is doing exactly what they are supposed to. Edge is proving he’s a top 5 back, Westbrook is catching more than running, and Bulger has been prolific in TDs as well as INTs. The only surprises have come from Keyshawn Johnson and Santana “The Other” Moss playing well above everyone’s expectations, and the Baltimore Defense playing well below everyone’s expectations. This has helped to bounce the Champs into the top three, but they are in a tenuous position with the injury to QB Marc Bulger and the possibility of the aforementioned standouts sinking back to where they belong. Week seven will definitely be a test for the Champs as Mr. Pica faces his arch nemesis, Dan “I do what I want” Coulter and the newly renovated Prospect Pioneers. Will they have the moxie to land another blow to Prospect’s pride? Or will they demonstrate that the 5-1 record is merely a fluke? Stay tuned!

#4: Indiana Ignition (3-3)

Self-proclaimed “Fantasy Guru” Ryan Alexander’s squad had been up and down all season, mainly due to the inconsistency of its WRs. The Ignition made a trade in week 4 with cohort Kurt Presnar of the Koppel Koonhunters which sent away their best WR, who immediately performed for Koppel. Indiana now stands with a very potent backfield of Julius Jones, “Wesley” Willis McGahee, and of course, “The Beast” Priest Holmes. Unlike the top three however, Indiana has not been able to pair this impressive talent with a solid stable of WRs. The names are big, but the game has changed. Harrison is not responsible for turning in big games anymore, and Mushy has fled the verdant, TD laden pastures of Carolina for a different kind of green in Chicago where he is in the hands of young Kyle Orton. By making a few moves, Indiana could burst into the top tier and make a run at the championship.

#5: Koppel Koonhunters (2-4)

The best of the 2-4 teams, the Koonies have been able to overcome the adversity of losing #1 RB Deuce McAllister and keep themselves in the hunt. Better than their record indicates, Koppel owner Kurt Presnar has managed to maneuver his team into a winning position by capitalizing on injuries to starting WRs and tapping into the monstrous machine that is Atlanta’s rushing attack. Led by veteran QB Donovan “Chunky” McNabb and the other Manning’s main man Plaxico “Too Tall” Burress, Koppel is poised to cause some upsets in the following weeks.

#6: Edinburg Epidemic (3-3)

The plague has been red hot as of late, winning its last three games. However, two of those wins came against very soft opponents, and although the third was against Koppel, Anthony’s Epidemic will remain below them. They just don’t have the talent to perform consistently; RB Kevin Jones is in a terrible offense, and once Martz cleans all the blackness out of his heart he’ll return to his evil machinations (ie: forget about Steven Jackson). The one solid, every-week performer on this roster has been Carson Palmer, but that’s just not enough to help Edinburg against their upcoming schedule (Allentown, Latrobe, Indiana, Chewton). The epidemic will be lucky to come through the next 5 weeks with 2 wins.

#7: Prospect Pioneers (2-4)

The much-maligned Prospect Pioneers were recently involved in a trade which added some much-needed depth to their RB position, acquiring both LaMont Jordan and Antowain Smith, along with veteran WR Jimmy “But he’s so old . . .” Smith. After sub-par play from Clinton “What’s an endzone?” Portis and Domanick “What’s an O-Line?” Davis caused the Pioneers to drop three in a row, oft ridiculed owner Dan Coulter made a move. After trading away the amazing Steve Smith and the unamazing D. Davis and Nate “I wreck boats” Burleson, the Pioneers find themselves with a brighter future. Prospect will be relying heavily on its remaining WR to come through, but the rebirth of Drew Bledsoe may be enough to put them on the trail of the playoffs. Unfortunately, they will be matched up against one of the top teams in the LFFL this week. It will be quite a test for the new Prospect Pioneers as they take on the Chewton Champs and make a final push to “Get that GLEAM back.”

#8: Greenville Trojans (2-4)

1st year owner A.J. Leight’s Trojans are blessed with two exceptional defenses, an amazing kicker, and three solid WRs. What they don’t have is a QB or a solid RB. McNair’s triumphant return has fizzled, Rudi is losing touches to Chris Perry (also Palmer proved he’s got what it takes), Ronnie Brown has to deal with Ricky Williams coming back, and Tatum Bell is still in a RBBC situation. What does this add up to? Inconsistency. When the two highest scorers on your team are your Defense and Kicker, you will definitely have some problems. The Trojan’s next three games won’t help them either (Latrobe, Indiana, and Chewton).

#9: Akron Assault (2-4)

Here is a team whos record is better than it should be. Owner Ryan Alessio has showed undying loyalty to the Cleveland Browns by choosing four of them to be on his roster, that’s right, four. Of course, this isn’t all that has hurt the Assault; 1st round pick Peyton Manning has been merely a shell of his former self. Come on, no one expected 50 TDs this year, but only 9 in 6 weeks? Tough break for the Assault. With Randy Moss not playing like Randy Moss and two RBs who would be 3rd string on most teams the Assault are making a run at being the worst team in the league, luckily they have some competition.

#10: Farrell Mooncrickets (1-5)
If Akron is a team that is better than they should be, then Farrell is a head-scratching 1-5 team that is worse than it should be. In all fairness, GM Danny Palumbo is trying. He’s attentive to NFL and fantasy news, he’s active in the free agent poll and works the waiver wire. However, for some reason, this team just can not get Ws. (This of course is stark contrast to Akron GM Ryan Alessio who has about zero contact to the league and other owners.) Perhaps though this team can get a turn around if underachieving players such as Jamal Lewis get back into their groove.