Championship Sunday- Leight Bowl VIII: There Can Be Only One

The long and winding road has lead us here, to Championship Sunday, the day when it all will be decided.

The Prospect Pioneers and the Chewton Champs, two of the LFFL's “Original Seven” franchises meet today, both seeking their first championship after long drinking the bitter water of defeat. After today, there can be only one.

The Prospect Pioneers (14-1), led by Dan Coulter, come into today's game the beneficiary of a bye of sorts, winning last week's opening round game by forfeit. However, that does not detract from the legendary season the Pioneers have put together, winning the Landry Division and going 13-1 in the regular season, a league record for most wins in a season, and tying the mark of the 2003 Pioneers for fewest losses in a season. Additionally, Prospect's' 1263 points are the seventh most points ever scored in a season. Prospect's lone loss this year came against division rival Ellwood, 78.28 – 72.34 in Week Seven. This is the Prospect Pioneer's third appearance in the championship game, having lost both Leight Bowl II in 2004 to the Koppel Koonhunters 87.35 – 72.97, and Leight Bowl VI in 2008 to the Indiana Ignition 96.24 – 73.89. In the inaugural season of 2003, Prospect finished third.

The Chewton Champs (8-7), managed by Tony Pica, were the third seed in this year's playoff bracket, and enter the championship having defeated number two seeded Stram Division winner Indiana Ignition last week 107.26 – 67.88. Chewton started the season strong, opening undefeated at 5-0. However, in the next six weeks Chewton went 2-4, before finishing the season with three straight losses, and backing into the playoffs playing .500 football. Despite their mediocre record, the Champs' 1064 points were forth most in the league this season. This is the Chewton Champ's second appearance in the championship game, having lost Leight Bowl III to the Allentown Iron Men 114.00 – 91.44 in 2005.

Prior Meeting: Prospect defeated Chewton 102.95 – 82.20 in Week Ten.

Tale of the Tape
Quarterback: While both teams feature a big time quarterback capable of winning a championship, Prospect has a slight edge with Tom Brady against division opponent Buffalo. However, Chewton's Philip Rivers should keep it close as he plays an equally terrible Cincinnati.

Wide Receiver: Prospect is employing the zero sum strategy, starting Vincent Jackson at wideout in hopes that he neutralizes any big day that Rivers might have. Prospect's number two is Brandon Lloyd who makes for a nice play against a pitiful Houston secondary. Chewton counters with the excellent Calvin Johnson who is always good for a highlight reel catch, but is paired with the underwhelming Santana Moss. Give Prospect the check here.

Running Back: While Peyton Hillis has been a beast for Prospect, one can't expect miracles when he faces the Baltimore defense. Additionally, there's question as to who will start at tailback for Jacksonville, meaning Jones-Drew may rest, giving Jennings the nod. The Pioneers will wait till gametime to see. Pierre Thomas is a nice play, and makes for a fine 3rd RB. Chewton, meanwhile has LeSean McCoy who may be poised to run through a snowstorm against the paper tiger that is what has become of the Minnesota defense. For good measure, Chewton also has Mike Tolbert, who really has become a three down back set to score versus a terrible Cincinnati team. Finally, the Champs' third best back happens to be their first round pick, Ray Rice, who will look to match last week's magic. Advantage: Chewton

Tight End: This one is tighter than you might imagine, as Chewton's Brent Celek isn't as popular with Mike Vick this year as he was with Donovan McNabb last year. On the other hand, Rob Gronkowski is fast becoming one Tom Brady's favourite new toys. The favor goes to Prospect, by a nose.

Kicker: Prospect's David Buehler missed an extra point on Christmas Night Football and still managed ten points, while Chewton's David Akers is going to have to kick in the middle of the Sunday Night Blizzard. Bet on Buehler to come out on top.

Defense: Pittsburgh netted fifteen big points for Prospect on Thursday night. However, for Chewton, while Tampa Bay has a solid defense, and a chance to do well versus a turnover happy Seattle squad, it's hard to envision them scoring enough points to give Chewton a chance to make up any ground. The edge goes to Prospect.


For all the talk and speculation, this game has to be settled on the field. Prospect and Chewton are two of the most storied franchises in the history of the LFFL, and both seek their first championship this weekend. It's fitting that while these two rivals have had successful seasons, it all comes down to one weekend to see who will grab the brass ring for all the glory of lifting high the prestigious Leight Cup representing the pinnacle of sports achievement, and who will simply shrug and console themselves by waiting until next year. There can be only one.

2010 LFFL Week Six Power Poll

LFFL 2010 Week Six Power Poll

Two weeks have passed since the last power poll, and some things have changed in the LFFL, and some things have stayed the same. Let's take a look at where we stand.

1) Prospect Pioneers (5-0, 473.72 pts) Even with a sub one point performance from Anquan Boldin, Mark Sanchez netting less than four points while Brady took a bye, and all the running backs under-performing this week, the Pioneers still managed to put up 93 points, thanks to Miles Austin (16.75 pts), Antonio Gates (11.85pts) and the Chicago Defense (18 pts). As great as those point totals were, they were impossibly dwarfed by kicker Josh Scobee who chipped in 22 big points. This team is number one with a bullet because week after week after week they receive big contributions from at least a couple players who then fade into the background the following week to allow someone else to step up. Is this a team of destiny?

2) Chewton Champs (5-0, 416.62 pts) This is owner Tony Pica's finest hour. After years of medicoracy, he has finally built the Champs into a contender. This week, they Rick-Rolled Allentown- trailing 2 points after Sunday Night Football, but then using the Jets Defense to propel themselves into the mid 90s past the Iron Men. Quarterback Philip Rivers has proven he doesn't need Vincent Jackson to succeed, as they threw up and down all day over the Oakland Defense in a losing effort that still netted 17.32 points. Perhaps the brightest spot for Chewton was the long-awaited emergence of Ray Rice, the forth overall pick of Chewton who had done very little up until Week Five. Rice's 20.95 points are mouthwatering, and if Rice can continue to perform at a high level, Chewton may prove to be the only team that can truly rival Prospect for league dominance.

3) Honolulu Muffdivers (2-3, 372.76 pts) Being a homer finally paid off for rookie owner Bobby Wilson this week, as the Oakland Defense exploded for 27 points and propelled the Honolulu Muffdivers to a big win over Youngstown to establish themselves as a legitimate LFFL team. Before we discuss the rest of the team, that Oakland defensive performance deserves further attention: 3 Sacks, 3 Fumble Recoveries, 2 Blocked Kicks, 1 Safety, and 2 Touchdowns. Those are epic numbers. If it hadn't been for the fact that they allowed 27 points, this might have been one of the greatest defensive fantasy performances in years. I'd be remiss if I didn't mention a great game by Percy Harvin (18.10 pts), Michael Crabtree doubling up his year to date totals in one game (13.5 pts) and a great plug in performance by Michael Bush subbing for DMC. All told, it added up to the biggest point total of the week with 104.86 points, but the biggest question is if this is a sign of things to come for Honolulu, or a one week apparition. Only time will tell.

4) Allentown Iron Men (2-3, 370.80 pts) Oh how the mighty have fallen. The Iron Men were let down by three of their biggest players this week, as Austin Collie and Arian Foster, who had been amongst the best in the league at their positions combined for only 5.5 points, and Drew Brees lost a touchdown's worth of points as he threw 3 picks. A bright spot was Hakeem Nicks who added two touchdowns to his career high receiving numbers gaining 21.5 points in the process, and Matt Forte who got it going on the ground for the first time this year, garnering 21.9 points. While they're in the top end of the league in points scored, their record and tie breaker situation has put them in forth place in the Landry Division and 7^th overall in the league going into Week Six. It looks like its going to be a league-wide slugfest for the 2 wildcard slots and if Allentown wants in on the party, they're going to need to come out swinging next week versus divisional opponent Honolulu and parlay it into some sort of winning streak. Whether or not Allentown has the ability to do that remains to be seen.

5) Youngstown Zoes (3-2, 354.31 pts) The Zoes lost to the biggest point total of the week up against Honolulu's 104.86 point effort, but Youngstown put up an admirable effort with their own 83.71 points. Three Cincinnati players finally started paying off for Youngstown, as Terrell Owens gathered 12.85 points, Cedric Benson added 10.65 points, and the Cincy Defense earned ten of their own points. This team's biggest question mark though remains at quarterback, as this week's QB Kevin Kolb is likely to return to the bench, Brett Favre is as hot and cold as a Katy Perry song, and Vince Young is always one benching away from driving off in his SUV with a gun in a suicidal rage. It is worth noting though that if this team wants to stay in contention they'll need to score a lot of points, and if Andre Johnson can get healthy, and Javid Best can stay beastly it'll go a long way to help that effort.

6) Indiana Ignition (3-2, 348.98 pts) The Ignition were the lowest scoring team in the LFFL this week, with only one player raking in double digits. Much of this week's futility was due to Peyton Manning's only scoring 2.73 points, but there's plenty of blame to go around with DeSean Jackson's 2.1 points, Visanthe Shiancoe's 1.90, and Ochocinco's 1.75. This week aside, this team has a ton of potential. Manning, Roddy White, Jackson, Michael Turner, McFadden, Shiancoe, it all should add up to dominance, and if it ever does, this team might be able to make a move upward.

7) Ellwood Dishsoaps (3-2, 319.22 pts) This team beat number six ranked Indiana head to head this past week, but fewer points scored year to date have put the Dishsoaps in 7^th place despite their powerhouse performance in Week Five. First overall pick Chris Johnson finally performed to his expectations with 18.85 points, and Tony Romo had an up-week,grabbing 20.57 of his own points. Kicker Nate Kaeding had a nice day with ten points, and the most impressive performance was the Philadelphia Defense, which earned 18 points. For some reason, Laurence Maroney's 1.35 points found their way into the lineup over Marshawn Lynch, but in the end it mattered little. This team is a bit of a question mark. While they're in ok shape at 3-2, their low point total doesn't help any tie breakers they might face if they wish to make a run at the division or wild-card slots, so in order to compete, Ellwood will need to try and make this past week's 95 point effort the norm and not an anomaly.

8) Laurel Skullets (0-5, 306.41 pts) How does this team continue to lose? It is mind bloggling. Every team usually has one or two star players who are suffering down years and are nowhere near where they were the year before. Laurel has an entire team of those stars. Matt Schaub is the chief offender here, as he actually cost the Skullets points, as he “gained” -0.13 points, but honorable mention can go to Marques Colston or DeAngelo Williams. Let's recap: Laurel's top four players are Matt Schaub, Reggie Wayne, Marques Colston, DeAngelo Williams, and DeAngelo Williams. These four players combined for only 21.07 points this week, just under half of the team's total 43.12 point effort this week. When the Green Bay Defense and Matt Bryant tie for the team's highest point total at 8 points, you know you're in trouble. As much as you want to hate owner Chris Devido for being a moron, a complete and total fuckstick, an uneducated foot-in-mouth-assclown, a poor speller, and a stupid-ass lemming lead around by Steve Jobs, you've gotta feel bad about how this fantasy team of his has worked out.

9) Alliance Assault (1-4, 297.39 pts) It's hard to say who is more responsible for this colossal failure of a team: Shonn Greene or Carson Palmer. Greene is probably the most responsible, since he was the Assault's second round pick, but Palmer deserves some credit as the 15^th ranked QB in the league, currently being eclipsed by such illustrious passers as free agents David Garrard, Shaun Hill and the great Ryan Fitzpatrick. This past week, Alliance's brightest star was kicker Rob Bironas, who kicked in 13 big points, and the dimmest bulb was Thomas Jones who is still being started for some reason over any other active player, with 0.95 points. Obviously, this team is out of it, but owner Ryan Alessio will need to dig deep if he even wants to play for pride from this point forward, because that is this team's only hope at this point.

10) Weirton Wiggers (1-4, 292.58 pts) This team is a perfect storm of poor team management and poor player performance. Somehow, number four overall passer Kyle Orton was benched this past week in favor of the 21^st best quarterback Joe Flacco. Orton put up 18.28 points, while Flacco only managed 10.92 points. Also, Malcom Floyd was somehow sat this week, letting his 18.65 points go to waste, but LeGarrette Blount's 3 yard rushing total for 0.15 points had a spot in the starting lineup. How did Blount start over Brandon Jacobs? Why not move McGahee to #2 running back and put Jacobs at flex if you want to roll with three running backs? Or, why not get Floyd into the flex spot? These are all valid points that call into question owner A.J. Leight's dedication in what will almost undoubtedly be his worst season ever.

That's the Power Poll heading into Week Six. Questions remain as the season continues: Can Prospect and Chewton remain undefeated and continue their divisional dominance? Can Weirton or Alliance turn it around and get out of the basement? Which of the middling teams will make a move to better position themselves in what is shaping up to be a league wide battle for 3^rd and 4^th best? Stay tuned.

2010 LFFL Week Four Power Poll

LFFL 2010 Week Four Power Poll

Now that three weeks are in the books, it's time to take a look at the who's who of the LFFL. Position is based on total points scored year to date, not overall record.

1) Prospect Pioneers (3-0, 280.24 pts) This season shows all the signs of being one of those years where the Prospect Pioneers and owner Dan Coulter are the class of the LFFL. While some might lament this fact, there's something to be said for the league's intensity in the years where the Pioneers rule the roost. Every league needs a villain, and perhaps we're all better when Prospect is better. That said, what makes Prospect better is two key positions: Quarterback and Defense. Tom Brady is good, and he plays for a New England team with a terrible defense, meaning he will be constantly throwing, and scoring points for the Pioneers in the process. On the flip side, Prospect has a lights out defense in the Pittsburgh Steelers. The Steelers Defense is not only number one, but number one by a wide margin, meaning Prospect is able to squeeze more points out of a position that is traditionally more famine than feast. We've yet to discuss wide receiver or running back, but that's not for a lack of talent. Miles Austin and Anquan Boldin are a dangerous duo, and Maurice Jones-Drew is number one over a crew that Prospect rotates in and out as necessary. Having soundly defeated defending champion Allentown this past week, Prospect is in the driver's seat in both the Landry Division and the league overall.

2) Indiana Ignition (2-1, 249.01 pts) This squad is anchored by Peyton Manning, who like Tom Brady, throws because he has no running game. That is a formula that usually equals success in the realm of fantasy, and here Indiana is the beneficiary. Also, what might be most surprising to the Ignition, is that on a squad with Michael Turner and Ahmad Bradshaw, Darren McFadden is the leading rusher. Also notable is this team's depth. Riding the pine are Chad Ochocinco, Kevin Walter, Beanie Wells, and Michael Vick. This is a solid squad, who if not for their week two loss to first place Prospect, would themselves be in first place.

3) Chewton Champs (3-0, 235.19 pts) Despite the fact that this team has several underachieving blue-chippers, the Chewton Champs are undefeated and in first place in the Stram Division. Those underachievers include Calvin Johnson (19.15 pts), Ray Rice (16.25 pts), and Brent Celek (7.3 pts). However, while those players have stepped down, the Champs have seen others step up, including LeSean McCoy (40.3 pts) and Dustin Keller (33.05 pts). Those talents are lead by quarterback Philip Rivers, who is both a world class dick, and a top flight QB, throwing for 455 yards last week without breaking a sweat.

4) Allentown Iron Men (2-1, 216.47 pts) While it might be a little early to say that the defending champion Allentown Iron Men begrudgingly passed the torch to the Prospect last week in their loss to the Pioneers, it's not too early to say that this team might be in trouble. While the Iron Men have the league leaders in rushing and receiving yards, it is their running back and wide receiver positions that are the biggest areas of concern. Running back Ryan Mathews is currently nursing a high ankle sprain making his return to action is uncertain, Matt Forte is more of receiver than a rusher, Greg Jennings is a spectacular talent but largely absent from the Green Bay receiving corps, and Mike Sims-Walker is suffering from the lack of a talented QB to toss him the football. These problems have dimmed the fact that Arian Foster looks to be a monster back, and Austin Collie is breaking out as Peyton Manning's new favourite target. While Drew Brees has been slow to warm up this season, there's no reason to believe that he won't produce this year, albeit at a slightly lower pace than last year. Having lost to Prospect this past week, the Iron Men will need to either gain a game over the Pioneers at some point this year, or start scoring a ton of points if they wish to win their first Landry Division title, let alone get back to the playoffs to defend their title.

5) Honolulu Muffdivers (1-2, 214.33 pts) This team is a surprising fifth place in the Power Poll considering they are rolling without a starting running back. This week's tentative starters at running back are Michael Bush and Darren Sproles. Hard to believe it, but these two are upgrades over the rapidly declining Clinton Portis and the injured Knowshon Moreno. Of course, the fact that six of the seventeen players signed to contracts with Honolulu are from Oakland tells you right off the bat what this team is about: an Al Davis level of delusional insanity. The one saving grace for the Muffdivers is Quarterback Aaron Rodgers, who single-handedly makes up for many of the missteps Honolulu has made. If this team wants to go anywhere though, they'll need to solidify the running back position, and divest themselves of many of the Oakland Raiders on their roster.

6) Laurel Skullets (0-3, 210.5 pts) The Skullets are a stunning 0-3 and have a pedestrian point total that flies in the face of reason, when you consider they own starters such as Matt Schaub, Reggie Wayne, Adrian Peterson, DeAngelo Williams and Jason Witten. However, reasonable or not, this is a winless team. They've been knocking on the door the past two weeks, losing by just over 1 point to Honolulu in Week Two, and under three points to Youngstown last week. One has to figure that the Ws have got to start coming soon for this stacked squad, but until such time they're in a deep hole looking up.

7) Youngstown Zoes (2-1, 209.79 pts) If it weren't for Javid Best, the Zoes would be the worst. This team sports three quarterbacks, and they're all terrible this year- Brett Favre, Jake Delhomme, and Vince Young- each not good enough to start in the LFFL, each holding a precious roster spot. If that wasn't bad enough roster management, the Zoes have two kickers- Mason Crosby and Phil Dawson, and two defenses- Cincinnati and Minnesota. This leaves room for only three skill position backups. Worse yet, the best of the backups is Josh Cribbs, who only looks good because he's compared to Jerome Harrison and Robert Meachem. All that being said, Youngstown does have some talented starters in Andre Johnson and Frank Gore. However, when one considers the length of a football season, the injuries, the bye weeks, it becomes clear that while this team might score some points here and there, they are not a serious contender with their roster in the shape its in now.

8) Ellwood Dishsoaps (2-1, 190.9 pts) As Chris Johnson goes, so go the Ellwood Dishsoaps. Johnson says he's the best back in the league, but he hasn't been playing like it all season. Also, Ellwood was counting on Steve “Giants” Smith to produce, but he has apparently taken a step back this season, much to Ellwood's chagrin. Quarterback Tony Romo is serviceable, but this team's biggest issue is the lack of a solid #2 running back. Amongst Ronnie Brown, Laurence Maroney, and Marshawn Lynch its debatable who would be a number 3 back, let alone a partner to run along side CJ2k. Also, it's worth mentioning that Larry Fitzgerald is on pace to set major disappointment records as he struggles to regain his old form while he suffers from a terrible quarterback, and increased defensive focus due to the decreased quality of his wide receiver teammates. While the sky was the limit for Ellwood this season, if they don't start scoring points they'll spend another season looking up.

9) Weirton Wiggers (0-3, 172.99 pts) In Week One the Wiggers started Kevin Kolb at Quarterback, in Week Two it was David Garrard, in Week Three it was Sam Bradford, and in Week Four it will be Kyle Orton. That should probably tell you everything you need to know about this year's Weirton squad. It's a shame too, because they've got some talent at the skill positions: Randy Moss, Rashard Mendenhall and Jermichael Finley right down the middle is very strong. However, in the LFFL, you need a well rounded team, and that is one thing this bunch of Wiggers is not.

10) Alliance Assault (0-3, 152.34 pts) This team has been undone by its running backs. Shonn Green went from stud running back to timeshare back with the addition of LT to his backfield, thus screwing Alliance. Thomas Jones is in a similar boat as he is a timeshare back, and Buffalo for some reason won't let C.J. Spiller run wild. Combine this with Carson Palmer's gross under performance, and this team is anemic. The worst part is, there doesn't seem to be any hope for Alliance, because not one player on their roster has shown any indication that the remainder of the season won't continue along the same path they're on. The timeshares will continue, the average performances will continue, and that means that the losses will continue for Alliance as well.

That's the Power Poll for this week. We'll check in again in a couple weeks to see how things have changed.

Best of the LFFL Message Board: 2003

In an effort to preserve the history of the LFFL message board, Prospect Pioneers owner Dan Coulter set about to find the gem posts that tell the story of each season's happenings. For more info, see here. The editorializing is Coulter's, and the reader should beware that the language on the message board is not appropriate for all audiences. Frankly, it gets a little blue. Enjoy.

Best of the LFFL Message Board: 2003
By: Dan Coulter

This is the only reference I could find to the 2003 inaugural season of the LFFL. It comes on Dec. 18, 2004 from Iron Men Owner, Todd Leight, whose 2003 championship team did not make the playoffs in 2004. Resentful about his place in the standings, Mr. Leight bitterly turned to nostalgia to make himself feel better.


A Walk Down Memory Lane: Last Season's Game of the Year
by: (Allentown Iron Men) Dec 18 3:17pm

While this week's playoff games have yet to be decided, I thought it might be fun to take a look back at what happened last year in the first round in the playoffs.

In what was already a big playoff game, #1 seeded Prospect hosted #4 Allentown, with the Pioneers having lost only one game all season long. Heavy favourites, Propsect was expected to roll their way to the inaugural LFFL Championship. However, Prospect would have to get past Allentown first.

The following is the post Allentown coach Todd Leight made after the game.

What a day, two evil giants have been knocked down to size, and the world is a safer place.

First, Task Force 121 of the US Army's 4th Infantry Division captured Saddam Hussein and put an end to the terror he inflicted upon the global community by digging his ass out of a hole in the ground, and putting him behind bars.

Then, on the other side of the world, the Allentown Iron Men put an end to the horrific reign of terror of the Prospect Pioneers by upsetting them in the first round of the LFFL playoffs, burying them in a hole of shame and irony.

Today is a good day for democracy and comeuppance. It seemed as if Saddam would taunt the world by evading capture, running on the lamb, keeping the coalition from the one victory they needed so desperately. Similarly, it seemed as if Dan and Prospect would taunt the LFFL by winning week after week, with incredible luck, sometimes squeeking out close wins and stealing the ones they couldn’t earn outright, thus running away with the league championship. However, like I said, today was a good day. Saddam is secured away in an undisclosed location, free of head lice, and Dan and the rest of the Prospect Pioneers have been sent to the friendly confines of the consolation game, to play for 3rd place overall, hopefully free of head lice as well.

Dictionary.com defines comeuppance as, “A punishment or retribution that one deserves; one's just deserts: ‘It's a chance to strike back at the critical brotherhood and give each his comeuppance for evaluative sins of the past’ (Judith Crist).” That said, I can think of no better word to sum up today in a nutshell than comeuppance. Truly, Dan got his comeuppance.

I direct all to posting # 119, which if you’ll recall was by Kurt in response to Dan’s usual prick-like pronouncement of his superiority over every other team in the league. Kurt said in his post, “keep talkin your shit dan... im gonna laugh when you lose first round of the playoffs.” Truly this was the finest act of prognostication in the LFFL all year. I can not help but wonder how hard Kurt is laughing now, and how that Humble Pie tastes to Dan.

The ultimate truth, after the opening round of the playoffs:
Prospect Pioneers (1) 76.81 vs.
Allentown Iron Men (4) 88.09

With an upset victory that will echo through the ages,

Todd Warren Leight
Owner and Chief of Football Operations, Allentown Iron Men

Best of the LFFL Message Board: Intro

In the interest of archiving the history of the LFFL, it's important to include the history of the message board. The LFFL message board has hosted all the trash talk, smack talk, commissioner's rulings, controversies, photoshops and homophobic banter that has made the LFFL fun for the past eight years.

Eariler this year, unemployed historian and Propect Pioneers owner Dan Coulter decided to dig through the archives of the message board to find the gems that really tell the story of each year's happenings in the league and on the board.

The following is the result of Coulter's work, and the editorialzing is his. Reader beware, the language is a little salty. We work blue in the LFFL.

-Commish


Best of the LFFL Message Board: Intro
By: Dan Coulter

Ok, so I have quite a bit of time on my hands because I'm currently unemployed, and I need something to do besides watch cartoons and jerk off (not necessarily at the same time). Therefore, I will be presenting to you a multi-part series that chronicles some of the best exchanges in the history of the LFFL starting in 2004 (the inaugural 2003 season posts are lost forever unless the Commish has copies). The state of smack talk on these boards is unacceptable, and hopefully this will bring back some of the hate and pain that made the message boards such a great read. Enjoy.

2010 LFFL Week One Wrap Up

Allentown Iron Men (1-0) defeat the Weirton Wiggers (0-1) 90.09 to 58.78
The Iron Men laid an early season beatdown on the Wiggers of Weirton thanks to blistering performances from running backs Arian Foster and Matt Forte. Foster rushed for just over 230 yards and 3 touchdowns, while Forte got it done in the air with 151 receiving yards and 2 touchdowns to go with his 50 yards rushing. Weirton had no answer, as the Wiggers were recipients of poor performances from QB Kevin Kolb, who was knocked out of action with a concussion, and wide receivers Randy Moss and Malcom Floyd who combined for only 7.35 points total. Weirton will most likely have to move forward with Kolb or backup Matthew Stafford, who both sustained injuries that may keep them out of action for some time.

Indiana Ignition (1-0) over the Alliance Assualt (0-1) 69.71 to 60.90
The Ignition failed to replace the inactive Beanie Wells in their lineup Sunday afternoon, meaning they were at a disadvantage going into this game. However, Alliance just couldn't get their ground game going, as Shonn Greene proved he wasn't ready for some football Monday night, turning in a negative point performance. Steven Jackson was the leading back, netting a mere 5.35 points, and rookie C.J. Spiller was nowhere to be found gathering only 1.7 points. Meanwhile, Indiana feasted on Peyton Manning's 26.66 point day and Visanthe Shaincoe's Thursday night performance of 10.8 points. Despite the fact that Michael Turner had a rough 2.7 point effort and Ryan Grant suffered an injury, the Ignition used the 8 point showing by the Baltimore Defense to get ahead once and for all Monday night.

Chewton Champs (1-0) beat the Youngstown Zoes (0-1) 65.69 to 48.87
The Zoes lone double digit effort came from their kicker, Mason Crosby and the next top performer was QB Brett Favre with 7.42 points. This was a problem for Youngstown, as they just couldn't score enough points offensively. Chewton meanwhile used a great 18.21 point performance by Philip Rivers to secure the win. Also remarkable was the Jets Defense with 12 points and LeSean McCoy who gathered 11.35 points. Disappointing the Champs were Brent Celek with 2.1 points and Ryan Longwell who lost a point due to a blocked extra point. However, Chewton was able to overcome Youngstown's lowest point total of the week.

Prospect Pioneers (1-0) trounce the Honolulu Muffdivers (0-1) 82.01 to 56.21
The week started inauspiciously with kicker Garrett Hartley missing two field goals indoors Thursday night, but ended on a high note as the Pioneers gained the second most points in the league this week, thanks to big games from QB Tom Brady with 23.16 points and WR Miles Austin's 15.8 points. Meanwhile, opponent Honolulu participated in their first ever LFFL league game, and suffered some growing pains, as second round pick Wes Welker was benched, the Oakland Defense gained zero points, and flexman Darrius Heyward-Bey had trouble cracking the one point barrier, gaining only 0.80 points. While QB Aaron Rodgers scored points (12.21) and will continue to do so week after week, this team's next most valuable player is Dallas Clark who was the Muffdiver's top scorer this week, with 12.75 points. Honolulu will have to wait until Week Two to try for their first ever LFFL win.

Ellwood Dishsoaps (1-0) wash the Laurel Skullets (0-1) 70.39 to 57.74
First overall pick in the LFFL draft Chris Johnson came up big for the Dishsoaps in Week One, gaining 20.50 points as he ran all over the vaulted Oakland rush defense. Also having a nice opening week was Ellwood's other running back, Ronnie Brown, who had his own 10.75 points. While the Dishsoaps may need to be concerned about their wide receiver production, Steve (Giants) Smith and Mike (60 Minutes) Wallace only combined for 7 points, Larry Fitzgerald should come around once he's built up a rapport with his new passer. Laurel meanwhile, only had one double-digit performance, 12.70 points from WR Reggie Wayne. Quarterback Matt Schaub was 9 for 17 in what turned out to be a ground attack game, meaning he only put up 5.99 of his own points, much to the Skullet's chagrin. However, looking at their roster, it's clear that brighter days are most likely ahead for Laurel, and they shouldn't read too much into this loss.

A Stunning Admission

Last night, whilst enjoying a mug of beer slightly smaller than a keg, Prospect Pioneers owner Dan Coulter admitted that his selection of the Pittsburgh Steelers Defense in the 7th round of the draft was a mistake. Coulter came to this realization when he took a look at the draft results and saw the number of wide receivers drafted after his selection of Pittsburgh, and wondered what could have been.

Some wide receivers selected after the Prospect Pioneers took the Steelers Defense with the third pick in the seventh round. Donald Driver, Michael Crabtree, Malcom Floyd, Chad Ochocinco, Mike Sims-Walker, Dwayne Bowe.

Final food for thought: the Steelers Defense netted the Pioneers 8 points this week, while the New York Giants Defense, picked up off the waiver wire by the Alliance Assault, gained 15 points this week.